Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter .

"If you're meant to be together you'll survive any obstacle or trouble that comes to you. All of the best love stories have one thing in common, you have to go against all odds to get there."




i'm about to have a nervous breakdown because i can not pick my class ring... i do believe i have mentioned before that i suck at making big decisions and i realize that this may not be a huge deal to some but to me it is! i mean there are so many things i could put on it and i can't make up my mind!!! ugh :(

other than that things are good. i am talking really good and last night church was amazing.i am reading alot.....hmm..i love to read. dork much? i have been making really good grades and school is getting better. i don't dread it anymore.

i did what i was supposed to and to be honest i am relieved with outcome even though its not what was wanted by some.....well one. but anyway whats meant to be will happen. and i don't feel bad. why should i? its not my problem. it never was.

"I know what you did, you know what you did."

ANOMALY!!!! ahhhhh! i lovelovelove church trips like nobody's business.

"your life is defined by opportunities...
even the ones you miss."

weekend: movies,anna's, grandmother's, maxima, pageant, feeding judges, all night babysitting with mariah, church,sleep,church,sleep,school!!
need me? text. dont call unless its life or death. get with it people.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

-emilybristenwarren-

"i hope you never lose your sense of wonder..."

I wanted to tell you all my secrets, but you became one of them.

"What we have here is a dreamer,
someone completely out of touch with reality.
When she jumped, she probably thought she would fly."

my computer is being gay and not letting me center my font or change the size and all that jazz. haha drivers ed. "and all that jazz" i got made fun for saying that. oh well i like it and i'm not going to stop.not a whole lot happened today. in 6th me and clint and dakota had the most random conversation. it was very...uhm..informative..i guess?? tomorrow we are being video taped in spanish class and i have to go to the dentist :). i love having my teeth cleaned. it feels wonderful.

1. anatomy homework
2. writing assessment
3. tessellation project
4. usa test prep
5. spanish test

i better get on that..

i can't stand listening to her anymore. really its driving me insane and it bothers me. it wasn't supposed to. i wasn't supposed to even care. but i do and everything she tells me i can't let it go. it stays in my head and i'm constantly reminded of it. if you think you know what this is about trust me..you don't. i know who everybody is automatically going to think of but you're wrong. it has nothing to do with anything about that.

andd sorry if none of that made any sense. i just had to get that out there.


"You said I always sang too loud to sing you a love song.
Well, I save my soft voice for the things I really mean.
You always said I had a hard time saying what's on my mind.
Well, here it goes: I hate you for what you've done to me."


Romans 2:16
And this is the message I proclaim—that the day is coming when God, through Christ Jesus, will judge everyone’s secret life.

-emilybristenwarren-

And I know you're not sorry, but I've forgiven you anyway.

"I’m not going to change for him. I have my morals, I do what I want.
If he doesn’t like me for who I am, then that’s fine.
I love who I am, so someone else will too. His new girlfriend will most likely give him what he wants,
and what he wanted all along. Do they love each other? No.
And I believe I am better than her because I was able to see beneath his
lies and his fake charm, and I knew what he really wanted all along.
I feel sorry for her. "


so..today was uh..interesting?? I am still working on the whole “not dating” thing. I haven't decided
yet. Anyway Pierre picked out my wedding ring



“ it's the same color blue of your eyes”


I drove a massive amount today. I really am beginning to love driving. I turn 16 in exactly 3 months. I cannot wait! Ah! I have a really good feeling about this summer. I will finally be able to drive and not have to depend on anyone else. The anticipation is killing me. And I want to go faster I mean really my mom/dad telling me to slow down is getting old.


:D

“i could pleasure myself with great rap.” - chase johnson.




Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


-emilybristenwarren-

Pain is Knowing You Are Right for Each Other...Just Not Right Now.

"Nobody cares about the truth. All they care about is what they believe."

well..this week has been rather amazing. you know how you have those days where everything....i mean everything is funny? my whole week was like that. especially wednesday. when dakota threw his ice on the car i laughed so hard i couldn't stand up. "porkchop porkchop greasy greasy arab girls are easy easy"-our student section.

"We are all guilty of saving old messages from someone who became really special in our lives. Going to familiar places given us that small twinge in our hearts and smile in our faces. It's simply bittersweet 'cause every time that person crosses our minds, we remember the instances when we were complete."

"I hope you know what you lost.
I hope you know what you had to
begin with. I hope you know what
mistake you made leaving; If you don't
then I hope you realize it. Most of all;
I hope you regret every single bit of it."

but for some reason today i was really discontent i guess you could say. it really wasn't a bad day. i just have been in a weird mood. and i cant concentrate on anything. if i said i didn't know why i would be lying. i know exactly why. but i still cannot accept my truth. i refuse to do it. i am the most confusing person ever. and you will see i will hardly ever write when i'm happy. i can't. maybe its more that i'm complicated. i can never ever ever make up my mind. i suck at making decisions. mainly big ones. and i am constantly forced to. we chose our class rings today. it makes me happy to know that i am that much closer to getting out of here. i want high school to be over. i dont want to be any older though. well that was contradicting. i don't want to wish my life away. its short and i want to enjoy every moment. i am just so over the stupidness of high school. today i realized: mrs. howard always makes me feel better. i am terrified of tanning beds. i love driving. i go way to fast though. i also realized today that my ideas get me into trouble alot. i should probably work on that, and the fact that i can be talked into anything. and that people seem to always end up doing exactly what they promised they would never do to you.

"Everyone knows that seasons change;
it's unavoidably obvious But for some
reason, everyone tries to avoid the
fact that people do too."

uhm..in church we are talking about relationships.....which is something that i have always had problems with. i could tell and absoulte stranger that i loved them, but when it comes to the people who mean the most to me i never show it. i used to think i have commitment problems but thats not it. i have problems allowing things to be perfect. woah....i know right? why in the world would i not want things to go perfect?? well i dont have that answer. but if everything is going just fine, i mess it up on purpose. i mean don't get me wrong. i want to be in that happy relationship...you know...the special love. like maybe if it snowed on your birthday, and your birthday was in july type thing. but i will not allow myself that happiness. maybe i should just not date anymore. i'll think about that and have to get back to you. this is entirely to long. i am stopping. sorry for my grammar.

"Nobody wants to hear this; but sometimes the person you want most is the person your better off without"

"And everyone knows what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger
so while your trying to pull her down - your only making her last longer."

Romans 8:38-39

³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-emilybristenwarren-

I have lied to myself enough to know when someone else is doing it.

For the past hour I've been sitting here. Typing, backspacing, writing, erasing, editing, revising. And I just want you to know; pouring your heart out isn't easy.

1 John 4:10

¹⁰This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.



-emilybristenwarren-

Always forgive your enemies, Nothing annoys them more.

"cinderella is sick of charming, sleeping beauty would rather nap,
ariels all washed up, & belles not coming back.
nothing last forever silly girl you must see.
stop searching for something that will never be."

so...today in small groups we talked about where and how our life is going. which brought something to my attention that i have been doing my best to avoid..I DON'T KNOW! i always heard about people who had to "find themselves" and i would make fun of them i mean come on you're right there, how can you find something that never actually left? but i really dont know anymore. i mean i may not know who i am yet but i know who i'm not. here lately i am starting to see everything different. mainly people. i have started seeing them for who they really are and not just who i wanted them to be. which caused me to make decisions that i really did not want to make. and i have to tell certain people things which is going to be extremly hard for me to do. i guess basically at this point in time i do not know where my life is headed, but i am ready for it.

we also talked about our reputations and how easy it is to ruin them. and honestly i have just gotten lucky that mine hasn't been ruined. i have made the same the mistakes over and over again, but that stops today. i am not going to let something small completely change the way people think about me. i also am not going to let who i hang out with determine my reputation either. so if changing my friends and everything i am used to is what it takes then i am willing to do it. i guess really its not completely about my reputation.its more of i want to feel like i am a good person. i mean i want my reputation to be good, but if you are going to call me a bad person or whatever for trying to do what i feel is right then i am ok with that. i am more concerned with my character than my reputation..because...my character is who i really am...my reputation is just what people think i am..

truth or dare?
truth. "tell me how you really feel."
dare."prove it."

anyway i still have this cold thing going on and it sucks.( life lesson- never drink after jamie mullins she will give you mono.) yesterday was fun! i love my friends and my family:) so my mom is annoying the mess out of me to come watch some movie about this 17 yr old who gets kidnapped in daylight or something. i dont know. but i am going to take my usa test prep thing because i have a busy day tomorrow and i know i will forget. i love you :)

je t'aime, te amo, te quiero, ik hou van jou, i love you. it doesn't matter how you say it. it matters how much you mean it.

Acts 20:24

²⁴ However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.

-emilybristenwarren-

Dark. Tall. Nearly twice your size. An absolute gentleman.

Tristan: I live in torture, thinking of these moments. With every look he gives you, I get sicker and sicker. There is a burning in me I feel on fire, and there's guilt I can't comidify. Does it make you happy to know that?

Isolde: The Roman Bridge, I can get to it without being seen, and I'd go there any time to be with you.

Isolde:You risked your life to give me to another man.

Tristan: Come with me.
Isolde: I can't.
Tristan: Why not?
Isolde: We both know this cannot be, Tristan. We knew it from the start. That doesn't mean it wasn't true, it is.

Isolde: Yesterday at the market, I saw a couple holding hands... and I realized we'll never do that. Never anything like it. No picnics or unguarded smiles. No rings. Just... stolen moments that leave too quickly.

Tristan:I don't know if life is greater than death, but love was greater than either.

Isolde: How many have you loved before me?
Tristan: None.
Isolde: And after me?
Tristan: None

of course it's you, it's been you all along..

"It's time to call it quits. On you, on us, on this. I'm hurt, I don't need this. I don't need you."

hmmm....I know I swore I would not make one of these, but I obviously lied. i am mainly doing this for myself and i am not really concerned with whether or not you read it. i have felt horrible all day! and i am extremely tired for no reason.ughh. anyway my life is going good for the first time in a while now. i finally realized that i needed to make some changes in my walk with God and its working perfectly:) nothing really all that exciting happened today...but tomorrow should be good if i feel better. and then sunday!! church! ahh! i love it there. most of my best memories are with my youth group. especially m-fuge and the song never let go. i miss alot of things about this time last year, but its gone and it isnt coming back. ohhhh! my mom and i meet with my agent friday feb. 20! i am so excited i have been wanting this for a long time now. i hope i like her but more importantly i hope she likes me...i am pretty nervous too. well my head hurts like crazy so i am going to watch Tristan & Isolde. hopeless romantic?? ;)

2 Corinthians 6:14

¹⁴Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

-emilybristenwarren-